Why Libya?

Not believing indefinitely in a higher power, life seems so random.  One action can change your life forever.  Would Hitler be Hitler if he was accepted into an art academy?  And what about small things?  I believe that everything from the mundane to the exciting influences us to the point that we are not who we are if one thing is taken away.

Would you be the same person if you were born in a different city?  Would you even be alive if two people have not met and loved?  Maybe life is so random that destiny changes from one moment to the next.

I feel everything leading up to now is telling me to go to Libya.  If my parents hadn't moved from Piedmont right after my sister graduated, I feel my life would be a million times different either for the better or for the worse.  I learned recently Max Pelta died because of a heroin overdose.  If one even one thing changed that day, maybe he would still be alive. Maybe if I hadn't moved from Piedmont, he would not have overdosed by default...

If there is no God, no destiny and everything is random, then perhaps it's not how long I live, but what I do with my life that defines me...  How would living a life, starting a family and growing old be different for me than for someone else?  Are we all following the same paper chase to be considered "normal"?  And what about beyond education?  Beyond marriage?  It seems all our lives have the same plot points.  We are born, we go to school, we marry, have children and die.  Is this the cycle of our species?

And what about citizenship?  Would growing up in a different country redefine who you are and what your dreams would be, but in the end, still be similar as we are all human?

And war...  Should the world stand idly be and pretend to care about genocide because they don't want to get involved and send their own sons and daughters off to war, and knowing full well there will be deaths?

Under utilitarianism, we strive for the greater good and purge the bad out of our consciousness.  It feels like every bad thing in my life has prepared me for this one event... It does not bother me when most everyone from an American militia message board tells me not to go and that if I do, I will die.

Whatever it is (destiny, greater calling, God, moral responsibility, greed, desire, romanticism, belief, conviction, etc.) it feels like the objective for my life is for one thing and one thing only: Libya.

I just hope I find what I'm looking for when my passport arrives.